When one hears the topic of “relationship,” one usually thinks of interpersonal dynamics. A more compelling aspect of relationship for me is the one we have with the world around us–in other words, with Life itself.

What determines our relationship to our life? Is it fate, karma, dharma or something else over which we may have more influence? It seems pretty clear that certain people come into this world with some heavy homework to do. While others seem to skim the cream that Life has to offer. Whether you fall into one of these two categories or somewhere in between, I believe that our attitude and beliefs can have an inordinate impact on the way we experience our lives.

In a thought provoking documentary a few years ago called, “What the Bleep Do We Know!?,” a postulate was made that at the sub-atomic level there was no difference between matter and thought. It went on to explain that our thoughts and beliefs affect not only our body, organs, health, and the way we age, but also how the world responds to us. This is the dynamic inherent in the phrase “Life always says, YES!”

What we most hold true will be true for us. If we believe at a core level that we are a loser, Life will show us again and again that, “yes,” we are. We will continue to experience failure so that we can reinforce our belief. If we believe we are special, and that we possess gifts that can make a difference in the world, in our job, in our relationship, then Life will show us that that is true for us.

When I speak to companies about how individuals can have a greater impact in their world, I first ask them to examine their core beliefs. Many folks raised in traditional religions embrace the notion that we are conceived in sin and are inherently unworthy. This belief can have potent repercussions in ones personal and professional life. I’ve seen many bright, capable people work hard, have success and somehow still manage to end up with very little for themselves. Life says … “You feel you’re not worthy, I guess you’re right.”

When I returned from West Africa last year, I told my wife that I would not complain about anything ever again. I was struck by the drastic difference between how we live and the challenging conditions in which most Africans live. I can’t claim 100% success, but since my trip I’ve been so much more patient with what appear as aggravations in my life. I tell myself that these things are minor inconveniences, and things usually resolve smoothly and easily. Life cooperates with a “yes,” because that’s what I’m choosing to put out there.

If you’re one of those people who seemingly do everything correctly, but still have a lot of dissatisfaction in your life, take time to reflect on the basic core beliefs you’re holding. It could be time to reprogram some of those beliefs so that you come into greater balance in your relationship to Life.

May you know your inherent divinity, and express it through joy each day.
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-The above is featured in Spheres Circles Publication-Vol. 7 No. 3 Copyright 2007
-Mathew Mitchell is a dynamic, transformational speaker. Matthew speaks to companies and organizations about being more effective in what they do by working in harmony with “higher principles.” He also has a consulting practice, teaching negoiation skills to the fortune 100. To contact for speaking engagements and more information Visit his website: http://www.matthewmitchell.com

article by Doug Miller

For the past 6 years I have been a part of a powerful force that has changed my life… A Men’s Group.

Each week you will find me gathered with six other men, standing in a circle, holding hands around a small table covered with a cloth blessed by the Dali Lama. We start the meeting with a prayer. Stones from around the world circle a candle and a small hand drum. There are two sticks. One has a beautiful crystal buried into it, held in place by a strand of copper wire — our “talking stick.” The other is dark and carries an ominous power — our “challenge stick.” After the prayer we “Tone.” The intention behind toning is to release energy and get present in the room. We grunt, scream, moan, yelp, etc. It goes anywhere from one minute to five minutes depending on the energy of the group. It is powerful!

I use the metaphor of a container often in the group. The container is the symbol for the amount of trust and safety that exists in the group. The stronger the container, the more heat it can withstand. The stronger our trust, the more emotional expression and risk the group can withstand. “Holes” in the container vary, from simple issues of timeliness and keeping agreements. The holes can also get subtler within the dynamic of the group. We strive to have a strong enough container so that when one of us gets triggered by the behavior of another, we can talk about it and process it.

Each year we go through a process of acknowledging ourselves and each member of the group, for the accomplishments of the past year. We then identify a theme for each member for the coming year. This theme helps the group zero in on each members issues and how to work with them throughout the year.

There are a number of reasons that I have participated in this men’s group. Mostly, I love creating and being a part of a community. These six guys witness me as I walk through my life, face, and overcome challenges. They observe and reflect back to me where I am and where I have come from. Through this community I stay grounded in myself. I can count on these guys. I know they will be there for me no matter what. They are a vital part of my safety net, which allows me to take huge risks out in the world. They have helped me get jobs, supported me in racing off to propose marriage to the love of my life, and been there to help me through rough times.

In return I get to be of service. I have walked with these men into the deepest and darkest parts of their lives. I have been there to support them and love them. Intimacy is the result.

The man who founded this group did so with the intention of creating a place where men could work on intimacy issues. That is what I have experienced – a safe place where I can bring my shame, embarrassment, emotional upset, tears, and anger, and still be embraced, accepted, and loved. I get to drop all the masks of my false self and be vulnerable and open to the best of my ability. Just having a group of close men to hang out with is nurturing and supportive. They have gotten to know me in a way no one else has. They are able to see through my games and manipulations quickly, and support me in healing and growing through it. It is really extraordinary.

The men’s movement as touched on in Robert Bly’s Book, “Iron John,” reveals how we gain sustenance just by being in the presence of other men. I get to be with men that are committed to living powerful and effective lives. It is quite amazing. This camaraderie extends into outside activities that the group does together. We have even spent a New Year’s Eve together with our families up in the mountains.

These are just a few of the reasons that I spend two hours each week with these six other men. My life is so much fuller and richer. This experience has been and continues to be such a blessing and a gift. I highly recommend it to anyone that is looking for consistent support and nurturing on the path of self-development. There is nothing like being a part of a group that is supportive and safe. It can be created easily with openness and commitment.
~
Doug Miller as been leading seminars since the age of 14. He is masterful at working with clients to create a plan of action that leads to results. Doug blends practical spiritual principles with real world actions to assist his clients in getting more of what they want in their lives. He was the publicist for a #1 “New York Times” best selling personal growth book DO IT! by John-Roger. Doug also speaks and trains in the corporate world on topics such as Teamwork, Customer Service, and Conflict Management.

by Kute BlacksonThere is That, that is living everything. If you breathe deeply, and relax, you can feel the breeze of the Infinite moving through your very being, opening you, as you. It is the functioning of Totality that is doing all of This- you, me, life, everything, and nothing. When you resist what is, you block the evolutionary impulse of life that is seeking to reveal itself through you, moment by moment. There is “something” seeking to happen through you if you simply allow it.

When your breath is shallow, you restrict the flow of Life-Force, and Life-Love that can flow through you as an offering. Breathe into every moment knowing that each breath is your Love-Making with the Divine. Breathe Love into every cell of your body, even into the smallest molecule of your left foot. Can you feel the impulse of Life-Love itself seeking to live you more fully, even there?

Life itself is doing all of us. We don’t always know this because we collapse our awareness down and function through a limited reality of Life, losing touch with the Infinity at the depth of our very Being, that is us. We are being done by That. All of This is Being done by all of That. Breathe, and let go. Allow something deeper than your thoughts, concepts, ideas, and identities to emerge and live you. Breathe deeply and relax into and be as That that Was before your concepts, and remains after your concepts.

Are you willing to breathe as deeply as the sky?

Are you willing to be breathed by Love?

Are you willing to let go and say “Yes” to that which has always been happening.

in spite of you?

Are you willing to Live, and serve everyone as though they were the Divine, because they are?

Live so that there is nothing left ungiven.

Love to the point of tears.

Love everything until there is nothing else to do.

And then Love some more.

Let that which is living everything live you completely and see what happens.

~

Copyright©2004
HEART-SHOUT by Kute Blackson
Visit: http://www.kuteblackson.com

article by Don Ginn

Today we live in challenging times. Yet when we live in constant gratitude and appreciation, our happiness is not dependent upon whether we live in a golden age or in a time of severe challenges.

No matter how tough it might get, joy and happiness will prevail within those who have discovered the miracle of gratitude.

In 1979 I visited a communist city in East Germany . Being in this city for just a few hours left an incredible impression upon me. Incredible, because no matter how hard I looked, there was no expression of joy or happiness on the faces of any of the people I saw that day. It appeared to be a city without smiles. I remember so clearly going over to one of the tennis courts to watch a match, and being amazed that there was no sense of joy in their playing.

I wondered what was missing. What was the main element that made their lives seem so lackluster? Was it their lack of freedom, their economic conditions or perhaps the poor quality of their food? More than likely, all of these were factors in their look of discontent. But there was something else. What was missing was the look of gratitude. For one justifiable reason or another, ingratitude was written all over their faces.

When times are the most difficult, sometimes gratitude is all we’ve got. It’s our life raft in what may appear to be a sea of misery. What so many people in this East German city didn’t appear to realize, was that a heart full of gratitude and appreciation could transform even their experience in this communist city, from a city of gloom and darkness, into a city of light. Gratitude can inspire and rejuvenate an entire nation.

Don Ginn is a professional success coach, business consultant, writer, keynote speaker and leader in the personal growth field. His coaching practice includes group tele-classes, corporate coaching, and one-on-one coaching sessions in person or by telephone.With over 20 years experience in both the business and personal growth fields, Don specializes in helping his coaching and consulting clients manifest their most cherished dreams and goals.

Contact Don at: don@listeningwell.com, www.listeningwell.com

article by Robert Rabbin

We all want to enrich our experience of work and to enhance our work environments with meaning and purpose, vision and values, creativity and inspiration, joy and deep human connection. How do we do this? Let’s look inside our own self, into our own soul, for guidance.

If we’re going to use the word “soul” in a business context, we’d better define it, we’d better understand it’s meaning clearly. Otherwise, this single word-so often thought of as abstract, esoteric, and impractical-will probably create much confusion, doubt, and maybe even cynicism. Let me tell you what I mean by soul, and how I think it relates to our work lives in very practical and useful ways.

I use the word soul as a poetic image that refers to a life of significant meaning born of deep inner exploration. The soul refers to a dimension of living which opens before us from time to time with such compelling force that we fall to our knees in silence and awe and gratitude. Soul refers to those gorgeous moments of self-transcendence, of love, of joy, of communion with the whole of existence in which our seeing becomes acute, and our knowing becomes wise.

When these disruptions to our conventional way of living occur, it’s as though we see another dimension of life about which we were ignorant. The mask of appearances falls away, and we see something profound about life. We experience something that is timeless. It’s beyond words, and the mind hardly grasps it. In these moments, the fortifications against the soul dissolve, and a new perspective appears.

Let’s go into this a bit deeper and see what this soul perspective implies for us. Take a moment to please remember a time when you experienced an awakening to the fuller and deeper meaning of being alive. Try to remember a time in which you were lifted by the hand of grace into a feeling of unconditional joy, abundance, and generosity. From this perspective and in this remembrance, what do we know about what I am calling the soul and its importance to our work lives?

The soul implies a real and living connection to others. Recognizing this connection with others means that we must treat others with respect, kindness, compassion, and dignity. Who would not like to be treated in this manner?

Soul implies beauty. This means that our actions must preserve the natural beauty of life in all its manifestations. Recognizing the natural beauty of life, we will not destroy, pollute, defile, or degrade anything. This is a sound principle to guide us in our business decisions, is it not?

Soul implies truth. This means we must speak the truth, we must be accountable for our actions, and we must be straightforward in our dealings with each other and with the communities of which we are a part. Recognizing this, we are bound to honesty and full disclosure of our actions. This would be a refreshing stance for business leaders to take, don’t you think?

Soul implies balance and harmony. This means we must keep our priorities in order and give equal time to our own personal growth, to our families, to our communities-to those pursuits and activities that enrich our whole life. Recognizing the need for balance, we will not be compulsive or greedy, we will not sacrifice the integrity of this moment for a future promise. This will keep us sane, healthy, and energetic.

Soul implies universality. This means that we are all shareholders in certain basic values. What do we all want? We all want to be appreciated, to be accepted, to make a positive contribution to others. We want to feel that our lives and our labors make a positive difference. We want to give, to serve, to be the reason for someone else’s happiness and well-being. I would like to think that we all are servants of other people’s happiness.

Soul implies inspiration, and deep passion. This means that we live and work from our hearts, from what we truly love. If we follow our hearts to work, we will not need to be motivated by some cheap management trick to give our best effort. Our heart will always ask us to give our best, for the sake of love and passion. We will not need to be bribed. Enthusiasm, cooperation, and commitment are the hallmarks of a heartfelt life. Is there anything we could not accomplish, together, working from and with our hearts?

Soul implies joy. This means that we work from joy, with joy, and towards joy. This is not a Pollyanna principle, because I think that everything we do in life is for the sake of joy. Let’s be honest about it: no one likes to work in an environment of tedium, depression, and sadness. Let joy be our standard: if joy is present, we are doing things right, and doing things well. If not, we are doing things wrong, and we should stop and figure out how to get back on track.

Soul implies going beyond conventional boundaries. This means we should always feel free to risk new ideas, new approaches to old problems. This means we should develop our minds and bodies and spirits so that they shine with creativity and innovation. Recognizing this, we welcome boldness, diversity, and initiative. We should be open to continuous learning and growth, not just in business strategies, but in living. I hope that we are all growing in self-awareness each day.

Soul implies clarity and awareness. This mean that we speak and act consciously, and conscientiously. Being conscious means being aware of those impulses, motives, and intentions that drive us. Conscious awareness is the moment-to-moment clarity of motive and intent. It is a balanced alignment among thought, word, and action. Awareness means to be deeply in touch with our thoughts and emotions every moment. Awareness means that we are able to see what is actually happening around us, and not just our own projected fantasies and ideas of what is happening. Being conscious is a commitment to an ongoing process of self-inquiry, of discovery, of illuminating the unlit aspects of our subconscious that often drive us without our knowing it.

This is what I mean by soul at work. I do not presume to be the authority in this; I do not want you to think I am laying down an exact formula. But if we continue this line of inquiry in our respective work places, I believe we will open up great and wonderful possibilities. I believe any organization that encourages such a dialogue will stand at the very forefront of meaningful change and progress. I believe that such organizations will be known as much for what they do as how they do it; such organizations will be known as much for their products and services as for their ethics, values, and principles.

Liberating and nourishing the human soul within the workplace is a gift the world sorely needs at this time. Please be generous in your giving.

© 2000/ Robert Rabbin/All rights reserved

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Robert Rabbin is a contemporary mystic and catalyst for clarity, freedom, and joy. He began practicing meditation and self-inquiry in 1969 and subsequently spent ten years studying with meditation master Swami Muktananda. Since 1985, Robert has been lecturing, leading meditative inquiry events, advising professionals and corporate executives, and designing spirit-based retreats for individuals, teams, and organizations. He has also written three books, co-authored three others, and published over fifty articles.

Robert’s new book, “Echoes of Silence,” is now available through bookstores and Amazon.

Voicemail: 415.705.0807
robrabbin@robrabbin.com
www.robrabbin.com

article by George Cappannelli

The Chinese character for crisis is also the symbol for opportunity. As men, I believe we have the crisis part down pat. We’ve demonstrated that for centuries. But I think we are on the verge of blowing one of the truly great opportunities in history. That’s why I believe it’s time for us to come out from behind the roles and rules that have encrusted and restricted us for so long. It’s time to step out from the shadows where our own indifference and about 40 years of criticism by members of the female tribe have driven us. It’s time to reclaim our rights, celebrate our unique gifts, and utilize our incredible skills to design and implement a new quality of life — one that does not seek to reverse the gains made by women, or to substitute new imbalances for some of the abuses and excesses that have arisen in this new politically correct “Era of the Dame.”

Yes, it’s time, for us to stand up again, not in arrogance but as human beings, and most particularly as the powerful, moral and spiritual force that we are. Time to demonstrate a sane, sustainable, humane way of living that is in harmony with the natural forces of the earth.

Not an easy task, is it? Perhaps some of you are not even convinced that it is necessary or desirable. And yet I can’t imagine that many of us really want to defend or extend the kind of insanity we call life in the modern world. Overstressed, overworked, obsessed with financial stability, awash in material comfort and toys—but confused about values, struggling to find meaning, and generally adrift in a sea of rapidly shifting gender paradigms. It’s no picnic, is it?

And who could have predicted it? When those first brave, strident women raised their voices and burned their bras, who could have imagined they’d turn the world upside down?

Apparently it was time to put an end to the somewhat lopsided deal we had been running for centuries. Of course, most revolutions go too far, and that’s true in this case as well. Not all of the changes set in motion have turned out for the best. Nor was the whole story told. Yes, we were guilty — as charged — of repression and unjustified cruelty, of ignorance and insensitivity. We were responsible for creating and maintaining systems that subjugated women; denied them the right to vote and own property, refused them education, and banished their voices from the counsels of governance. Yes, we treated them as property and in some cases still do. So clearly change was long overdue.

Still, it is also true that some of the changes have gone too far. The blaming of men for everything has become endemic and destructive. The stereotyping has been reversed and is equally demeaning. The political correctness is often restrictive, retarding and soulless. And some of the laws passed to redress abuses are sometimes equally abusive.

So what’s my point? That we have to speak up and show up! Before the game becomes just another version of Pin The Tail On The Donkey. We have to get back into active, heartfelt and honest conversation about what life is supposed to be, even if that means dragging some of those politically incorrect questions about roles, rules and responsibilities for both genders, out of the closet and into the light. We have to learn how to model a new kind of behavior that celebrates what it is to be a man, honors what it is to be a woman, and challenges the foundations of both definitions.

It’s time for us to lead the way in reducing and eliminating injustice, inequality and limitation, not only on both sides of the gender divide, but wherever it is found in our world. Time to build bridges of understanding, empathy, and respect between all members of the “human tribe,” and then to create new socio-economic and political structures that sustain this harmony. Yes, it’s time, Brother, long overdue time, for us to remember what is truly possible to accomplish in this intricate and absolutely miraculous experience called life.
It’s time. Brother! Is it ever time!

George Cappannelli is one of the county’s top business consultants and executive coaches. He is the CEO of The Information & Training Company, a business consulting and training organization he founded 15 years ago. His clients include a number of Fortune 500 companies, government agencies and national associations. George is also a writer, whose new book “Say Yes To Change,” which he co-wrote with his wife, Sedena, is part of a new empowerment series. Visit: www.sayyestochange.com He is a working on a new novel entitled “Old Stones & Promises,” and a play, “Coxman, A Celebration of Being Male.” He is also an award winning sculptor whose works in stone, wood, and bronze, are in a number of public and private collections, and an Emmy Award winning director of television, film and theater. To contact him email: infoco1@aol.com

article by Matthew E. Mitchell

California- About 14 years ago I became aware that there were parts of myself that were incomplete. I was raised with four sisters and two mothers. Growing up, my best friends were mostly women. Although I had men friends, I didn’t feel comfortable with them in the same way I did with my women friends. Something inwardly told me that I needed to explore that, and heal it. I decided to form a Men’s Group.

I chose four men that I had come to know through my spiritual practice. It was helpful that we knew each other, and that we had similar values and beliefs. The issues we wanted to address ranged from our mistrust of other men to un-healed “wounds” around the relationships with our fathers. Even though we came together as friends, none of us could have predicted the bond of respect and love that would develop.

We decided that there would be no permanent leader. Each meeting two members of the group would set the agenda, research the topics, come up with the exercises, and facilitate the group. It worked out very well because everyone took his duties seriously. All of the men had experienced some kind of therapy or seminar work. The techniques and exercises that were offered for our exploration were powerful and insightful. As the years went by, the group began to grow. It reached thirteen members by the time I left two years later. The group continued on for another three years.

The benefits I received from being in that men’s group were vast. My mistrust and fear of other men was replaced with respect, compassion and a genuine bond. I came to embrace other men and, and wanted to know their dreams, and their goals. My relationships with men deepened and multiplied. I came to a new level of love, and acceptance with my father. Our relationship is strong and affectionate to this day.

My experience with that group was one of the most transforming experiences of my life. Yet, if you are looking to join a group so that it will bring you some of the gifts mentioned above, consider this: Like everything else in life, you will only be served if you are willing to bring everything YOU are to the group.

**Matthew Mitchell speaks to companies and organizations about being more effective in what they do by working in harmony with “higher principals”. He has a consulting practice, teaching negotiation skills to the fortune 100. As someone who believes in the power of integrating seemingly diverse schools of thought, he has been invited to speak at national and international business and spiritual events.

Matthew resides in Santa Fe, New Mexico with his wife, Deborah and dog, Bodhi.

To contact him call: (505) 988-9595.

To learn more about his background, visit: www.matthewmitchell.com