“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves.”
- Mahatma Gandhi
There comes a time when the need to redefine some of the meanings we have attached to words, thoughts and ideas that we’ve been holding as truth, becomes necessary if we are to progress in our human development. We also have to be willing to look at what is not working for us, and to let it go!
At this mid-point of my life, as I am in my fifties, I am being faced with looking at the ways in which I have been defining my Self, and the ways in which I have been functioning that do not work for me, in a positive way–
I recently got hit with a “bug,” some type of bacterial infection that had me down for four weeks. During this time I was faced with many of the ideas I have around my self worth.
In my daily life I am very busy keeping up with things– Things that don’t get done unless I take care of them. I do these things with joy and gratitude, while also feeling a sense of worth and usefulness. During this “down-time,” of physically not being able to do all that I do– I found that I was faced with feelings of worthlessness— Many valuable questions and revelations came out of this time. I found myself questioning who am I without being the person who does all I do–? Who was I when I drop all the balls I think I need to juggle–? I found myself wondering why would my husband even want to be with me if I can’t keep it all going–? What if I stopped everything and no longer pressured my self with keeping my business going–? Who am I with out it–?
Then I wondered how long had I been placing the value and identity of who I am on what I do–?
I also found time to get more into reading Eckhart Tolle’s book, “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose”, which generated even more “aha moments,” for me.
In his chapter on “Ego: The Current State of Humanity,” he conveys how “In normal everyday usage, ‘I’ embodies the primordial error, a misperception of who you are, an illusory sense of identity.” This illusory sense of self is ego.
When had my ego taken over so much of how I perceive who I am—? And who am I really–?
A dear friend once described the essence of who I am by saying “Deborah gives you a break.” Being patient, loving and nurturing has been my natural way of being towards others. Why did I allow that to get covered up when relating to my Self?
I thought the move I made with my husband to Santa Fe, in 2005, after living twenty-five years in Los Angeles, was the big change that would get us off the treadmill of thinking we had to always be doing to be productive–To be successful. All the doing didn’t allow for much BEING… I became very aware of the survival mentality we had fallen into living in Los Angeles, trying to keep up and stay afloat. We were operating from the core, gut and “root-chakra” areas. Fear had become much of the driving force of our existence. Time to get in touch with operating from the HEART…
Going from sea level to 7,000 feet alone was a huge adjustment, in which we literally, physically had to slow down. Nature envelops you here in Santa Fe. There is an acclimating to those rhythms that happens organically, and the cellular memory in which we relate to Nature is reignited.
What I didn’t realize was that my old norm of doing to feel I have value and purpose, was a well-exercised muscle that was also naturally kicking-in, regardless of where we were. It seemed I needed to create an illness in order to give myself permission to take a break–
The other day I got an inner nudge to go out on our land and simply sit in what I call my “Circle of Trees.” I knew this would get me centered. This is where I get a sense of my Self–The Self that I am without doing. I find peace here. Here, I give my self a break. I feel this same way when I sit in the Circle Gatherings I have been hosting and facilitating for so many years. I created these gatherings out of a need that was there, and wanting to offer a monthly sanctuary for all who participated. Our centering and well-being comes with doing that which comes to us naturally.
“Being” is the muscle we want to exercise so it eventually becomes our norm. This is a process. It takes time and patience.
Exercises for Strengthening the Being Muscle:
• Take time to sit in Nature. Even if it is for a brief amount of time—though the longer and more open your schedule, the better. It is especially beneficial if you can actually sit on the earth. Simply breathe and allow your Self to be an observer with your eyes open or closed.
• Rest. Give yourself permission to rest. Learn to tap-in to your body and spirit and honor the need for rest. If you feel you don’t have time for an actual nap or break, at least give your self the space to lie somewhere, flat on your back, and close your eyes and take ten deep breaths. When I lived in the bustling city and seemed to always be on a tight schedule—I would actually take time to pull over my car where I could safely park and recline the seat back and close my eyes for a few minutes, while taking slow, deep breaths. Get enough sleep at night. Eight hours is the preference.
• Do something in which you can lose your sense of Self and lose track of time. Art of any kind is especially great for this, as well as gardening or cooking– Even cleaning and/or organizing. Your main focus is being fully present in the moment of whatever you are doing.
• Create and be in a sacred space. This can be an environment you have for your Self and/or for special gatherings, such as a Women’s Circle.
• Sit silently with a person or persons you love and/or are comfortable with. Watch a sunrise or sunset. Listen to the rain, or flowing water. Just be.
• Simply sit or lie back and watch the clouds–For hours at a time if you are able.
• Take time to be in silence. Create a meditation practice to be part of your routine.
• Travel. Experience your self somewhere you don’t have any of the trappings of your everyday life. Just be out in the world.
• Find ways to have quiet. Give your head, your eyes, your ears a break. Even when you are driving in your car. Give your self the gift of silence.
The more we “exercise” this “Being Muscle,” which is heart-centered, the more operating from that place becomes our norm. This way of being allows us to create a positive environment for ALL. Our true selves, our true paths, unfold before us naturally–in perfect time.
I am learning to trust this process and am ready to step fully into going from “Emergency-Mode to Emergence,” along with you and ALL humanity.
